LADY BONER.

This one’s for the Ladies of Covent Garden. The ladies who were used and abused and farmed out to ‘gentlemen’ and were handed around houses of ill repute as playthings of the patriarchy. The ladies who were cruelly ridiculed and ‘reviewed’ as pieces of erotic meat in ‘Harris’s list of Covent Garden Ladies’. The Argos Catalogue of prostitutes in Georgian London. I want you to know that hundreds of years later, it’s not too late to have your back. I’ve rewound the clock and sprung you forward through the filth and the glory. To a different time, a different place, a different London. I’ve imagined you as you laughed or cried or just simply put a brave face over it all. I’ve put you on a pedestal and just let you be you. Toasts of ale over nameless graves were never enough so I have reimagined your lives as they would be today. I have carefully poured your spirit into each piece as a fitting tribute to who you were and what might have been. I hope you like it, ladies.

To the Ladies of Covent Garden 1757 – 1795.

Dunno. Acrylic on Canvas. 2019.

For Mrs Bird of No# 17 Salisbury Street, The Strand.

‘Those who keep ladies do not seem to regard their charms, but become keepers because it is the fashion. But she can not be admired on account of her charms , for she has very few; indeed we are so blind that we cannot discern any. She is tall and lusty, has a dead eye and flattish nose, and good teeth, and is very much given to laughing, she wears short petticoats. We do not know whether her favours are bestowed for money or love, but this we are certain of, that C– H– is not the only man who can experience her voluptuous favours, which are very numerous.’

Yo Mama. Acrylic on Canvas. 2019.

For Miss Davis of No# 22 Upper Newman Street.

‘This is a fine lively girl, about twenty-one, rather above the middle size, genteelly made; has several good friends but is much attached to Mr Br–om, the lottery office keeper, who is now in prison, where she often visits him: is ever obliging and seldom out of humour, understands a great deal of her business, and never fails to please. She enjoys her favourite man with ecstasy; and pleases, with cold-indifference, managed by art, the rest of her votaries; who are content with thinking they have fathomed the deepest part of a girl so replete with sensation; in short, she can so well counterfeit the passions of love and lust, that many of the most knowing rakes of the town would be easily deceived. This lady occupies the parlour’.

Soapy Tit Wank. Acrylic on Canvas. 2019.

For Miss Littleton of No# 3 Salisbury Street, The Strand.

‘This is a fine plump girl, with dark hair, large eyes, and dark eyebrows. It is a very great misfortune for ladies who depend on the public for a support, to be liable to particular attachments, where interest is out of the question, for it has been of great detriment of this lady, when she has had good keepers, who have discovered her intrigues, merely through her own carelessness, and have discarded her. As her own circumstances are particularly fluctuating, so her dress is answerable to them. She is, upon the whole, an agreeable woman, and we make no doubt, might live exceeding genteel, were she more guarded in her conduct, and keep herself from falling in love where there us no percuniary view; however, at present, she is in keeping with Mr B–, a counsellor in the Temple, but will not lose the enjoyment of her other friends, who may fall in her way’.

Old As She Was, She Still Missed Her Daddy. Acrylic on Canvas. 2019.

For Mrs Page of No# 26 Upper Newman Street.

‘Come, thou goddess, fair and free, with the sweet simplicity. The previous two lines are highly descriptive of Mrs Page, who for ease, freedom and simplicity is scarcely to be matched among the whole sisterhood, besides which, her beauty is by no means inconsiderable. She is about twenty, has been nearly five years in business, and has had tolerable fortune; her features are good, except her mouth, which is a little too wide, especially when she laughs, which is pretty often. Those who are inclined to mirth, will find her to be a good companion, without the least tincture of blasphemy, she is not of a mercenary disposition, yet she expects one pound one, but rather than lose the customer will put up with half the sum’.

The Extremely Gradual Yet Oh So Inevitable Fall Of The Male Ego. Acrylic on Canvas. 2019.

For Miss Brown of No#4 Princess Street, Cavendish Square.

‘The Situation of this lady is truly pitiable, for as we understand, her heart was betrayed by a young gentleman in the country, who forsook her, which she repeats with a good deal of apparent grief, and does not seem at all calculated for her present way of life, except in point of beauty. Is rather short and has a clear fair skin, with a pleasing blue eye, her cheeks are very prettily dimpled, and she has a natural fresh colour, her hair is bright, and her teeth are good. She is now a lovely desirable girl, but if she continues in her present situation, it is a great chance but that she becomes as false, inconstant and infamous as many others of the fraternity. By this remark we do not mean to anticipate any disagreeable circumstances, but mention it merely to her as a friendly caution that may possibly raise her pride and guard her against those baneful habits which are so often the disgrace and sometimes the ruin of many of the sex’.

Well Hard. Acrylic on Canvas. 2019

For Miss Scott of No# 44 Margaret Street, Cavendish Square.

‘We cannot call this lady a beauty of the first rate; she is what may be determined pretty, but nothing extraordinary, and tho’ she cannot boast of all those external graces, which distinguish the beauties of some ladies; yet I’ve heard, when she is engaged in her business, there are very few who are her superiors. She is amourous to the greatest degree, and has courage enough not to be afraid of the largest and the strongest man that ever drew weapon in the cause of love. She has had a number of admirers in her time, all of which she has the satisfaction of pleasing during their temporary residence with her. She is now in keeping by one Mr B–, who is not a little enamoured of her. Her person is of the middling size, little black eyes, black hair, very fine teeth, and is altogether very agreeable’.

Come At Me. Acrylic on Canvas. 2019.

For Mrs Harrison next door to the shoemaker’s shop, Cleveland Street / New Moulton Street.

‘ A pompous heroic girl, without either wit or humour, but fancies herself clever without any person acquiescing with her whomsoever. She is of the red-haired kind and very vicious, too fond of the male kind for her business, which is the cause of her not succeeding as she should do. Her person is extremely well made, good eyes, fair skin, and incomparable fine hair; never so happy as when in bed with a pretty fellow, altho’ she gets nothing by him-like the giddy girl, thinks of nothing but the present, leaving all future events to chance. She left an elderly man, who would have given her five guineas, to bed with a young fellow who had not a single sixpence, and having herself just one guinea thought it sufficient to defray the expense of the night and the following day, leaving herself without a farthing for the sake of a few hours indulgence with this favourite. Whatever money she receives from her indifferent customers, she holds in a kind of contempt, and longs for an opportunity to throw it away upon her favourite man- generally one who is penniless and glad of even a dinner. This lady lives on the first floor, was lately in keeping with a young banker, but is since with another gentleman’.

Whatever Floats Your Boat. Acrylic on Canvas. 2019.

For Mis More of No# 1 Charles Street/ Newman Street.

‘Such is the power of good nature, that it can stand in the place of other requisites usually expected to be found in the followers of the mysteries of Venus. Beauty, which is arcanum, tho’ the cosmetics which adulterate it are, the first and chief requisite; and next to it, an agreeable conversation. Here, however, is the reverse of the medal! For Miss More has nothing to boast of in point of beauty, as she has but a middling face, with large features, a coarse hand and arm, and in stature short and clumsy. So much for her person. Next, as to her conversation, she is ignorance itself; yet yet good nature has force enough to bewitch and to continue the spell over those whom it has once bound. Her age is about nineteen, and her favours may be had on very moderate terms. She is an excellent bed fellow, being fond of the sport, and is just from the country’.

Fuck The Fappening. Mixed Media on Canvas. 2019.

For Miss Jones of No# 16 Edward Street, Cavendish Square.

‘This lady was born in the country, but the circumstances of her parents, when she was sufficiently grown up, obliged them to send her into London to get a livelihood, she was not long before she got a place in St James’s Market, where, whither, by being accustomed to see the poor lambs bleed, or rather a desire of becoming a sacrifice to the goddess of love, is left for the reader to judge, but she was shortly found stabbed to the heart in the most tender and susceptible part of her body, in short she was unable to withstand the powerful impulse of nature any longer, so was ravished with her own consent, at the age of sixteen; her mistress on the discovery, thought proper to send her going, for fear her good man should take it in his head to kill the lamb over again. She began now to show the bent of her inclinations, she listed under the banners of cupid, and marched at the head, being of a courageous disposition, and always ready to obey standing orders; she had great success, and often made the enemy to yield, by which means she gained no inconsiderable share of spoil, but her charitable disposition (being always ready to relieve the naked and needy) soon reduced her. Her places of residence have been various; she is now about twenty-six, and though she has been many times besieged, and innumerable times bombarded; she looks well and is remarkable for her gentleness and affability’.

Sound Medical Advice. Acrylic on Canvas. 2019.

For Miss Montague of Meard Street.

‘So beauteous young and gay, and dearly loved the am’rous play. A pleasing countenance, of a middling size, her features are the delicacy of a court lady in their town use. This pretty little girl is about eighteen, lives in the parlour, is always to be seen on the daytime, as she never dressed til time for the theatre; in bed she performs all her paces in a pleasing manner, and keeps exact time to every motion, urges with every possible insinuations the coming pleasure, and returns the ecstatic with a flood of tepid delight, always urging repetitions. Her price is from half a guinea to what you please, but for a nights lodging, notice must previously be given her.’

Weights and Measures. Acrylic on Canvas. 2019.

For Miss Harrington of Newman Street.

‘A knowing one, lives in the first floor, has two or three gentleman favourites; by giving a double rap, this lady will instantly make her appearance, and if she returns you a favourable glance, she will immediately conduct you in a very complacent manner to a convenient sofa, and suffer you there to take a view of her haven of delight, where pretty ringlets hang in tempting curls over the cupidinous font, in return she likewise expects a view of nature’s gifts from you, which if she thinks clean and properly adopted, she will unload for two pounds two. She is rather a good figure, and about twenty five, with a tolerable good complexion, in company chatty, witty and agreeable.’

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